Does anyone have Bono’s address? I feel so heart-broken for the poor, penniless bloke that I want to send him a little something to help him get started with his pan-handling. It’s a really nice, tin cup, too: blue enamelware with a stainless steel rim. I used to use it when I was a stagehand with IATSE Local 470, so it’s no stranger to the tragic and destitute life of internationally-famous rock stars.
Why am I sending Bono my tin cup? [1] Because Paul McGuiness–U2’s manager–says that his boys aren’t getting paid enough. Nope. That $30 million they earned in 2006 has left them starving and begging for change (the kind that jingles in your tin cup, not the kind that Obama wants). The only way to save his poor, destitute boys from living in a public shelter and eating in a soup kitchen is to institute a “music tax” on everyone who uses the internet. C’mon… fess up. You know you’ve been illegally downloading tracks from… umm… I’m sorry, can anyone name an album that U2 has put out in the last 15 years? The last one I listened to was Rattle & Hum. I worked as a stagehand for that Zoo-TV abomination, and got so annoyed and disgusted with the pop crap they were spewing I’ve never bothered to even listen to anything of theirs since. <i>However</i>, I’m obviously a pirate who needs to pay McGuiness and his starving boys more money (for songs I’m not listening to and don’t want to listen to).
He’s just looking out for his boys, y’see. He’s very honest about it. “I would like to see the workers (creators) paid, which they aren’t at the moment.” This is why Bono needs a tin cup. Because, you see, he’s “not getting paid”.
Now, I know what you’re thinking. Why don’t they just do some sort of media or product tie-in? Y’know… use an ad-supported business model. Well, obviously that’s an insult to an artist! As McGuiness says, he “does not want to see ‘artists reduced to the status of employees working for glorified ad agencies.’” U2 would never lower themselves to getting money from advertisers.
Okay. Let’s set aside the (admittedly fun) sarcasm for a second and look at the facts.
1) McGuiness’ contention is that the internet is stealing money from the pockets of U2 (and himself) simply by existing, and therefore all the users of the internet owe him and his clients money.
This is, quite honestly, the most arrogant and pompous attitude I’ve seen in a long time. He believes that illegal music downloads are one of the–if not the most single–powerful reasons that people sign up for internet service. Those billion+ downloads from iTunes–a company who pays 70 cents on the dollar to the music industry? They’re irrelevant. Amazon.com? Irrelevant. All those other companies that have legal contracts with the music industry and pay royalties? Irrelevant. All those things the internet has to offer that have nothing to do with music? So amazingly irrelevant. People only sign up for internet service so that they can illegally download music.
Yeah. Right. Get fuckin’ real, McGuiness. Everybody knows we get online for the porn!
2) McGuiness just wants “to see the workers (creators) paid, which they aren’t at the moment.”
2 responses to this one:
a) Right now, iTunes pays 70% of it’s income to the music industry. Less than 2% of that reaches the artists. If McGuiness has a problem with how much money is making its way into Bono’s pockets, he needs to talk to Universal, Sony BMG, the RIAA, and the rest of “The Industry”. It’s not the listeners how are taking your money, mister. It’s “The Industry”.
b) I’ve worked in the arts for over 20 years and this little detail still annoys me: Please name any other industry where someone continues to get paid for work they did years ago. It really bothers me when rich musicians bitch that they’re not getting paid enough for work they did 20, 30, even 40 years ago. Boo fuckin’ hoo. God forbid you actually have to keep on working like the rest of the world.
3) The hypocrisy of “artists” that sold out wholesale to Apple suggesting that using advertising as a revenue source is somehow beneath them is… well… I’m at a loss for words. Let’s also remember that every tour that they’ve been on has been sponsored by some company–usually a brewery or distillery. Any TV appearances have been sponsored by advertisers. And, of course, every single second of radio play they’ve gotten–you remember that, right? The medium that promoted them and <i>made</i> them famous?–has been paid for by advertising dollars.
The market has changed. Evolve or die. Because, quite frankly, those of us that actually work for a living really haven’t got an ant’s ass worth of sympathy for your spoiled rich boys. When I start getting residuals for those dishes I washed back in 1985, and that U2 concert I built the stage for back in 1992, I might be willing to give you a listen. Until then? Sit down and shut up!
[1] Get fucking real! That rich bastard can buy his own cup. I bought mine when I was a college student making less than $5,000 a year, and paying half of that to the state in tuition and taxes.
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